Health Records.

So it's been awhile since I last wrote here, and I'm sorry about that. School got crazy and I forgot my password. Haha.

So here is an update:

I'm going to Mesa Sate College, the college near my town. And I'm participating in their Psychology and Counseling Major. Seems ridicules since I call myself a self-abuser, but I think that is why I want to help other people the most.

I started working out at Mesa's rec center 3 times a week for 2-4 hours. I know that seems a lot... but I have seen NO progress. Okay that's a lie I have seen 21 inches come off but I also gained 5 pounds...

Essentially my thinking is this. THERE IS MORE WRONG WITH ME THEN MEETS THE EYE!

I'm starting to think that my Depression, anger, and frustration is not my fault! Of course I need to do more research on the subject before I come right out with what I'm thinking it might be. But you will get an update.
Unfortunately I can't do any test with the doctors until our health insurance kicks in which won't be until August. Though I do have the ability to go through Mesa's student health insurance, but I'm pretty sure that they will not be able to do the extensive testing that it will take to figure out if I have what I think I have.

So I will probably just wait, what is another month in the grand seam of things? (Pray that I don't get any sicker then I am now.)

As for today I am going the doctors office to get all Medical Health records so that I can try to trace what I think is wrong with me back to my early childhood.
I'm hoping it is what I think, not that recovery will be easy, but that I will finally figure out what is wrong with me. Because I truly don't believe I'm a self abuser on purpose.

Things I'm doing for myself today:
1) Getting health records (yes all the way to second grade, I think there is more there then meets the eye)
2)Drinking lost of water
3)Going to the gym? (Depends on how I feel at the end of the day.)